For a brief moment in my life I never liked the fact that I have no English name. It was annoying having to correct teachers and friends on how to pronounce my name, and I never got the appeal of being so different especially with how much I wanted to fit in.
So I decided to change it, and I proudly announced my new name to my Dad on a calm weekday evening when he came back from work. I went, “Dad, I want an English name - I’m going to call myself Fordison, or Ford for short!“. I was happy to hear him chuckle and I shared all the interesting reasons I chose this name, a name that sounded English but was still unique. I think I was possibly obsessed with the car brand back then. I got a few friends to call me that for a while, but as with all playthings kids enjoy - the name was promptly thrown away when I got bored of it.
In recent years I’ve come to love my actual name, but in the spirit of anonymity I’ve had to choose various name for online personas. I’ve gone through many awful usernames, most of them having numbers and special characters as I tried to fit into the gaming communities I’ve explored so much. For some reason, fordison777 has stuck - I have no particular obsession with the implicitly divine numbers, and the name is nothing more than an old memory I’m trying to hold on to. And yet, I love the idea of having an online name that is not ethnic and personal. It’s a fresh start. With this final username, I’m creating a new identity. One without the baggage of my personal life, one generic enough to fit anywhere online. With more posts, I hope I can share what matters to this online identity, because I’m certainly finding it better to detach my online persona from my actual real life persona - for the sake of my mental health.
One could imply that I’m simply not proud of my real name, or at least not proud enough to brand it online - but the reality is - I have way bigger ambitions for this flesh I call Muracia. For now, I have to train - my prose, my skills, my marketing - and then I can share from a more authentic place of being. Even then, I don’t consider this body and mind my true self - but that will be explored much much later.
In the meantime, you can go ahead and see what I’m sharing on various social media platforms, and for more specific inquiries - feel free to reach out to [email protected]